Students often have a hard time identifying their own emotions, as well as identifying other students’ emotions.

Miscommunication in this area frequently leads to conflict and disruptions in the classroom, which can quickly derail learning.

Students do not automatically know how to handle conflict, which may lead to more aggressive behaviors if students are left on their own to handle these situations.

The ability to handle conflict is an important life skill, and actively teaching and modeling these skills can benefit young students as well as middle and high school students.

In my last post, I discussed strategies you can use to begin to build empathy with your students.

Click Here To Read: Teachers! Here’s Your Guide To Building Student Empathy

Now I would like to focus on how to use our empathy discussions and lessons, and show you the steps to model conflict resolution with students.

When you use this strategy, you are demonstrating to students the importance of communication when solving disagreements.

Students also learn the value of listening to another person’s view point, which is another important life skill.

The goal is to consistently model this strategy with students so that they eventually begin to use these skills on their own with their peers.

Here is the 5-Step Strategy to use when you observe conflicts or students come to you with their disagreement.

1. Step in To Begin Discussion

2. Restate Each Student’s Point of View

3. Review and Reiterate the Issue

4. Prompt Students to Think of Different Solutions

5. Conclude When Each Student Agrees With The Solution

Step #1: Step In To Begin Discussion

When you observe a conflict or disagreement, step in and stop the conflict before it escalates.

If you are working with younger students and you can tell what’s happening, you might say, “You both want to swing.”

If you are working with older students or you cannot tell what exactly the conflict is about you could say, “It looks like you both have a mad look on your face. What’s happening?”

It’s helpful to hold the toy or object that is the center of the disagreement while you have a discussion with the students.

Or if the disagreement is about an object that is too big to hold, such as a swing, stand between the students and the swing, so you have their attention.

Step #2: Listen and Restate Each Student’s Point of View

Once you have their attention, ask each student one at a time to tell you what’s happening. Each student has an uninterrupted turn to talk.

Next, reiterate what each student has said and ask if they both agree.

You could say, “So you are telling me that you ran to the swing first. Is that correct? And you are telling me Ann said you could have the next turn. Is that correct?

Step #3: Review and Reiterate the Issue

Restate the problem. You could say, “Sara and Bianca, you both want to take a turn to swing. That is a problem. How can we find a solution to this?”

Step #4: Find a Solution

Each student has a chance to voice a solution they like. Sometimes other students nearby will offer a solution.

If neither student declares how she would like to fix the problem, you can suggest a solution.

If one of the students says, “We could take turns.” Then you ask each student how he/she feels about that suggestion.

You could say, “Sara suggests you could take turns. What do you think about that solution?”

Step #5: Conclude When Each Student Agrees With a Solution

If both, or all, students agree on the solution, you can help facilitate it, especially if you are working with younger students.

If you are working with older students, stay close in the area and monitor that the students are following through on what was agreed upon.

For example, “You both agreed to take turns on the swing. I’ll set the timer on my phone for five minutes. Sara, you can take your turn, and when the timer goes off, then Bianca, you can take your turn.”

Then set the timer and follow through.

If students are not able to come up with an agreed-upon solution themselves, you can suggest solutions.

It’s fine to give students time to talk and think of solutions. However, I like to remind students of the time, so they are not upset if the recess bell rings during our discussion.

You can say, “It’s O.K. for us to take our time to think of solutions. I’m just letting you know, recess ends in ten minutes.”

This can prevent another emotional outburst if the bell rings before a solution is found.

If the bell rings to go inside, I ask the students to meet with me at the beginning of the next recess to continue to find a solution, so the conflict doesn’t start up again.

Here is another example of the 5-Step Strategy:

Problem: You see two 4th/5th grade boys on the basketball court start to yell at each other.

Step #1: Step in To Begin Discussion

Immediately go down to the basketball court and guide the boys to the sideline before it escalates into a physical fight.

You can say: “I see both of you are really upset. Come stand over here and tell me what’s happening. Kevin, you start. And then Tim, you will have a turn.”

Listen to each student’s point of view and remind the students not to interrupt each other.

Step #2: Restate Each Student’s Point of View

You can say: “O.K., Kevin, you said Tim pushed you from behind? Is that correct?” And Tim, you told me you tripped and ran into him and didn’t mean to push him? Is that correct?”

Step #3: Review and Reiterate the Issue

You can say: “Kevin you feel like you were pushed, and Tim, you are telling me it was an accident. What can we do to fix this?”

Step #4: Prompt Students to Think of Different Solutions

Give students some time to think and suggest a solution.

Sometimes a student might say, “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to push you.” Then the other student accepts the apology and they resume the game.

At this point, I use my teacher’s intuition and knowledge about both students to try and determine if it really was an accident. I’ll also ask other students on the court if they saw what happened.

Step #5: Conclude When Each Student Agrees With The Solution

If both students agree it was an accident, and they are no longer angry, they can go back to the game.

Or, if students do not agree, but they are calm, I suggest that they both find separate activities to participate in for the rest of recess time.

What If Students Do Not Agree With The Solution?

Other times, the student who was pushed insists it was on purpose and doesn’t want to accept that it was an accident.

If this happens I give the students more wait time to try and figure out a solution.

You can say, “We still haven’t found a solution. I’m concerned that if I send you back to the basketball court there might be another issue. How can we fix this?”

Or if the other students saw the student push deliberately, I’ll keep that student with me for a consequence and send the other student back into the game.

I also keep track of students who are often involved in incidents where they hit or push, but usually state it was an accident.

I let the student know I’m keeping track of those kinds of problems, and if I have multiple students saying the same student is hitting or pushing, it’s no longer an accident; it’s a pattern.

Conclusion:

Using this 5-Step Strategy and consistently modeling conflict resolutions shows students how to talk about their feelings, listen to other students’ points of view, and brainstorm solutions with others.

These valuable life skills not only give students the tools they need to cut down disagreements in the classroom, but will also benefit them throughout the rest of their lives.

Here Are Some Awesome Resources That Will Help You Even More

The Small Groups Blueprint | Teachers 2nd-6th Grade! Tired of being told you need to differentiate for all your students, but never exactly how? In this Blueprint, I will show you each step, from setting up your classroom layout to implementing each group and what activities you can use.

I also walk you through how to set up automatic grading assessments, along with organizational tips!

The Small Groups Blueprint is your roadmap to implement Small Groups in your classroom that provide individualized instruction with fewer interruptions!

Click Here To Learn More!

The Academic Planner & Organizer | This Academic Planner & Organizer has everything you need, so you can stop scrambling to find binders.

Keep everything you need this year together in one place: monthly calendar, weekly overview, meeting notes, student data, parent contact information and more!

Save time and your sanity and check out this planner!

Click Here: Yes! Let's Get Organized!

Create Your Ideal Classroom Layout For Small Groups | This guide is the roadmap to help you create a classroom layout that supports a successful Small Group Time! Learn how some simple tweaks can make a world of difference and prevent issues before they start.

Set a strong foundation that sets you and your students up for success during your Small Group Time.

Click Here: Yes! Give Me The Free Guide!